Involved.

Today, I’m in pain.

i can’t quite explain it. It’s a heaviness. A weariness. Earlier, it was almost… a panic.

It’s my own fault. I watch shows and get so emotionally involved. Like when I read, remember? That was one of my first blogs posts. About how sucked in I get when I read. Well, it happens with tv shows and movies too.

Today, I watched a character go through a large amount of pain, and, in his pain, he reacted, taking it out on someone else. And I just started weeping.

Because I could feel his pain. I felt so strongly for how deeply he was hurting.

And it’s not just that. Because then I relate it to my own life. And the faces of my friends go through my mind. Today, watching such pain portrayed by an actor, my heart grieved for my friends, knowing that in their lives, they will have to face pain. And I can’t…. I can’t keep them from that pain. I can’t hide them away and keep them safe. If I have any say in it, I will be there for them when the pain comes, but I can’t keep them safe.

So my heart hurts today. Because my friends will have to face pain that I want so desperately to keep them from.

I shouldn’t be aloud to watch tv.

-Melissa

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