Comfort.

I read the same book twice a year.

I’m not quite sure why. From a writers perspective, it has some flaws. And honestly, it’s not the best story line in the world. But it’s my favorite book. So I read it. Again and again and again.

I miss my college friends. I miss Clark. I shouldn’t miss Clark. I have reason to believe that he has or has had feelings for me. But he has a serious girlfriend. Not to mention, I’m not interested. But he’s one of those people. I literally long to be around him. I actually crave his presence. Because he’s comfort. He’s like a freaking big teddy bear. I almost wish I was interested just so that the feeling would make sense. I can’t explain it to anyone because they’d probably think I was crazy.

Do you know people like that? That just put you at ease?

And I hate it. I hate it so much because I want him to not have feelings for me and I truly want it to work it out with his girlfriend. So… Shouldn’t I try to stay away from him? I did try that once and the poor boy could tell something was wrong.

You can’t hurt Clark! It’s like wounding your favorite puppy!

I love him. In a completely platonic way, I love him. And I miss him.

And my mind flies back to a time when I thought I was going to have a panic attack and he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly and told me, “you got this.” And I didn’t want him to let go because I felt like someone cared and I felt safe. I felt comfort.

I read the same book twice a year.

The story warms me. It’s familiar. It’s safe.

It’s comfort.

-Melissa

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