Laughter filled the room again, mine included. I felt relatively comfortable here. But… not comfortable enough to speak. A lot of people in the room already knew each other. And I… knew no one. Okay, fine, I knew a few people, but not well at all. More of just acquaintance type of relationships.
The problem is over the next few weeks, I will be spending a lot of time with these people and will have to work very closely along side them. I want to get to know them- I really do. They are all really cool and are all very nice. But I can’t… talk to them.
I grew up pretty shy. For the most part, I’m able to shake that off and leave it behind, but at times like this, it catches up to me. It holds me back. I’m really nervous that I’ll stay hidden inside my shell and not form any of these relationships that could be so great and could last so much longer than these next few weeks.
And I don’t know what it is. Am I intimidated by the people around me? That could be it I guess. If I am, why am I?
How do I move beyond myself? How do I become comfortable enough to let people get to know me instead of just getting to know them? And can I really get to know them if I don’t allow them to get to know me? And will my fear and stress of wanting to get to know them backfire and ruin my chances?
Does any of this make sense?