I sat in a decently crowded room, papers and books spread out on the empty table before me. My mind should have been on the test that I was preparing for. Instead, I felt the weight of loneliness fall over me.
I just felt… empty. In that moment, all I longed for was the presence of another. They would not have had to say a single word but just to have someone there beside me would have made all of the difference. And goodness, I longed for a hug in that moment. Just someone’s arms around me. Just someone to be physically present enough to make me realize that I was not alone as I felt. I was not as alone as I thought that I was.
What scared me more was that I knew how to fix the problem. I knew that all I needed to do was to text someone. Walk about fifteen steps and find someone I knew. Call someone. Get someone to be there beside me.
And I could think of no one I felt comfortable enough doing that with. Tears burdened my eyes.
If that was the case… Was I more alone, did I experience more loneliness, than I am willing to admit?
And am I the one who causes the loneliness?