I want to jump on a plane and just go. Fly me to Germany or Korea. Teach me Italian or let me gaze upon the Eiffel Tower. Just somewhere.
I want to go far enough away to where these bouts of insomnia can’t touch me. Where every day is so full I can’t help but sleep at night. Somewhere I can get lost in a beautiful culture and meet beautiful people.
Can you believe this turn of events? This wasn’t the plan. But is it now? Who have I become? Someone who dreams of traveling while I lie awake at night? Someone who wishes for something she’s never considered? Someone who hopes against all hopes and lets her hopes rise when she really, truly shouldn’t?
When did I become someone who loves people? Who doesn’t just deal with their existence? Who longs to be with them? Who is this person who enjoys getting to know new people and grieves losses she hasn’t yet had as she tries to sleep? Who wants to constantly be coming alongside others in whatever way they need?
And when in the world did I become someone who struggles so much to get a good nights sleep?