Sometimes, after a week of being with new people, strangers become friends. They’re the kind of friends you want to be with all the time- you never want to leave.
But sometimes, after a week of being with new people, strangers are still strangers. Maybe a couple have leveled up to acquaintances. But for the most part, they’re still just as unknown as five minutes after you met them.
I think I may have figured out what makes the difference between when people become friends or stay strangers: intentionality. And interest. With the new people I’m with, they’re simply not interested in me. They all know each other already but even amongst themselves, there is no intentionality in getting to know each other better or caring for each other’s needs. Honestly, there isn’t a whole lot of love between them. It’s kind of sad to see.
I’m sure they would argue and say that there is love there and they are interested in each other’s lives. It’s just… I’ve been with them, constantly, for a few days now and I haven’t seen it. It doesn’t seem right.
When people are intentionally trying to get to know you and are interested in your life, you can tell. And you can tell when they’re not. I’m not really upset that these strangers haven’t become friends and I probably should be. But I’m just not drawn to people that seem to have no interest in knowing me at all. Maybe I should have tried harder. Maybe it’s selfish of me to want them to have that interest.
Or maybe they just don’t understand how relationships work. Or how they’re formed. Or how to embrace the people that have been put in front of you.
Maybe some strangers are never meant to become friends.