As quietly as I could, I made my way downstairs. My bare feet whispered on the wood floor. I would have preferred carpet just because it allowed me to be all together silent. There was a group of girls I didn’t know in my living being entertained by my roommates. I didn’t mind them being there but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.
I heard a rhythmic sound coming from the kitchen and wondered if one of the girls had wondered off by herself. Instead, I found him cleaning the top of my refrigerator.
He hoped I didn’t mind what he was doing and I shook my head. I’d been meaning to get to it but, after all the work it had taken to clean the tops of the cabinets, I really didn’t want to tackle the fridge for a while. Plus, he probably thought it was more of a necessity than I did because he could actually see the top of it. When I went down after he left, I realized he had cleaned the entire room.
Later, I sat in the kitchen, alternating between reading and putting a batch of cookies in the oven when he came back. He asked me questions and told me about himself. He talked about bringing a rug for the living room and maybe some artwork for the walls. And they were going to walmart- did I need anything from the store? I didn’t. If I did, I couldn’t think if anything.
When he left the room, and when I had left him cleaning before, a sadness swept over me. I stared into nothing, not being able to concentrate on my book any longer. I tried to give myself a moment to recover and blinked away the tears that had come to my eyes.
I get so overwhelmed when people are nice to me. How ridiculous is that? But he cleaned the top of my refrigerator. Who does that? I went to put away my dishes and he had already done it. He had put my roommates fruit in the fridge and straighten up the counter. He somehow cleaned the brush I thought I had destroyed scrubbing the tops of the cabinets.
I live in a world where I do everything myself. I hammered in some loose nails and fixed a few loose screws in the house I’m now living in. I got on a chair in my roommates room before she got here and replaced her lightbulbs that had burnt out. I moved all of my stuff into the house by myself even after people offered to help. When something needs done, I just do it. And if I can’t do it by myself, I put it off until I can’t any longer.
I don’t know how to handle it when people do things for me. I know he was really doing these things for his daughter, my roommate. I know that. But he was so nice to me. I just really, truly appreciate it when people are nice to me.
But sometimes… It just makes me so sad.


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