I’m pretty sure I’m too sensitive. And because of that, it is very hard sometimes to distinguish if someone is being rude or not. I always have to second guess myself and make sure I’m not getting needlessly offended.
But… I don’t know. That seemed pretty rude to me. And it hurt. Not in the like really bad hurt. Just… A confused hurt. Like oh that stung a bit but… Did it? Did it even happen? Why would you say that?
The problem is that it’s making me reevaluate my reactions to how other people have hurt me. And they did. Badly. But… What if they didn’t mean too? What if I saw everything wrong? What if I shouldn’t be hurt?
And does that even make a difference now? Because I am hurt. And… I thought you knew that so why in the world would you say something like that? Tell me I’m acting like a child? As if you’re better than me!
Maybe that’s the problem. Because they overlooked me to the point that they destroyed me but you? They taught you how to build a pedestal. A tall one. One that disregards others. And then they enticed you to climb.
And so you are.
As much as I thought that was something I wanted to pursue, I’ve never been or liked the pedestal type. And I didn’t realize that was the business I was headed toward. So no wonder everything in me resisted it. I will do my best to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground so that I can do life with those around me. I will not put myself up higher than the rest. And maybe you who have elevated yourselves throw rocks at those below as a cruel way of telling us to come join you. But I will not build myself a pedestal. We are all human. We are all no better than anyone else. I hate watching you fall into the temptation of thinking you are better than others.
And I just wonder how long it will take for you to realize that pedestals… They’re pretty lonely.