I’m shaking with stress, anxiety, and sadness.
Today I was reminded that there are people, near and far, that support me. That want to show they care. That think of me. And as those thoughts came to my mind, tears came to my eyes.
It’s like I’m a mime except the box that they pretend is there is actually around me. No one else can see it but I can lean against it’s walls. They throw support and love like confetti around me and the box stops it from getting to me. They reach out their hands to hold mine and we each slam ineffectively against the glass. I moved through today, trapped in that box, unable to feel what was going on around me. I stayed in my box, untouched by people’s excitement for me. Untouched by their encouragement. Untouched.
This week is pretty important to me. But there is so much to get done. So much to work toward. And I am left senseless- without my senses. I thrive off of feeling and I can’t feel anything but the weight of the exhaustion on my shoulders.
This box around me… I have no energy to break its walls. I have no energy to even test the glass. I just have to move through my day with it surrounding me. Untouched.