She just kept talking and I snapped.

Not like totally flipped out or anything. Just kind of yelled out of nowhere. I could see the shock on her face.

You see, I have my reasons. But I’ll tell you, none of them are good enough. None of them provide a reasonable excuse.

I’ve said sorry three times. She says it’s fine. I think it probably really is.

Oh my word, but it’s not. Not to me. It’s not okay. I’m glad she’s not holding it against me, but I will. I am. Because that wasn’t okay.

How am I supposed to do this? If I can just make it through tomorrow. And the next day. Then the next three weeks. Then I’ll be okay. Right? If I can just live through the next month, it’ll be okay. Things will go back to normal.

What is normal? Is it a good thing if it goes back to normal? Normal doesn’t feel good.

I’m scared. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to…

“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. Birds fly over the rainbow, why, then oh why, can’t I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow why, oh why, can’t I?”



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s