It’s your birthday today.

I remembered- aren’t you proud? I always get March and May mixed up and I can never remember if it’s the 30th or the 31st. This year I remembered though. This year, I know without a doubt that it’s your birthday.

And it really sucks that I remembered.

You’ve basically asked me not to contact you. So the ball is in your court and I’m waiting for you to get your shit together. And I think you will. But I’m the one who has to wait.

I actually had a good day today. But so many things reminded me of you.

I know you’re in a really hard place right now. I get that. But I can’t tell you happy birthday. And your Christmas gift is sitting quietly on the shelf. And the frame with your picture in it is turned around.

But I hope your birthday is happy. I hope someone made or bought you a cake and put too many candles on it. I hope they sang to you. I hope you didn’t think of me today. I hope you didn’t think about the problems you’re facing or what it’s doing to me. I hope you pushed everything aside for just a day.

I hope you feel celebrated. I hope you feel loved. I hope you feel happy. You deserve those things.

Man. You’re such a goof! And I hope you made people laugh today like you do and I hope people made you laugh until your sides hurt.

You’re a great best friend and all of these past years wouldn’t have been the same without you in them. I’m thankful for our conversations and our arguments and the way we interact. I’m thankful God brought you into this world and let our paths intertwine.

Happiest birthday, my friend.



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