I’m watching Private Practice again. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, especially since you don’t watch the show, but I see you as the Cooper to my Violet. When I’m Violet, you’re my Cooper. You’re my best friend. You see me for who I am, you know too much about me and my craziness, and you accept and love me anyway.

You see, I never wanted you to be the Cooper to my Violet in the first season. Because in the first season, it comes out that he’s in love with her. And I never wanted that. Because I see you the way Violet sees Coop. As just a friend. [And to say ‘just’? How horrible. As if friendship isn’t sacred. Which it is. It’s lovely and sacred and more precious than anyone bothers to give it credit for.]

But today while I was watching, I realized something. You…you are the Cooper to my Violet in season one. Or you were. You did like me. You did go through that pain of someone not liking you back. And I’m really sorry about that. I am. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

But the Cooper in the show? He doesn’t stay there. He moves on. He finds Charlotte– the love of his life. And you know what? She’s very intimidated my Violet. She really is. She and Cooper fight about it and it scares her and she doesn’t get along with Violet and she’s terrified of losing Cooper. Much like your wife.

But he fights for them. Cooper fights for Charlotte, he fights for himself, and he fights for Violet. He makes Charlotte see that there’s a difference in the way that he sees the two of them and she is the one he wants to share his life fully with. She is the one he wants to marry. She is the one he wants to commit every part of his being to. So Charlotte, as hard as it is, adjusts. And Violet, as hard as it is, adjusts. And Cooper does the hard work to fix his romantic relationship as well as his friendship.

So I’m really sorry I wasn’t your Charlotte. But you know what? You’re a coward. And you’re mean. And you’re lazy. And you’re immature. I wish you were really Cooper. Because I’m tired of being hurt by those I love. And I’m tired of things never being fixed. And I’m tired of being sad.

I’m so damn sad.



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