Period.

Since my depression has been on and off, when it’s ‘on’ during that time of the month, I really start to question myself. Am I just moody? Is this depression? Or just PMS? Would anyone even take my moods seriously because it’s lined up with this monthly visit?

How ridiculous.

I’ve been in a bit of a black hole for the past week, if not two, and I’m not on my period. It’s actually that sweet spot between periods when you don’t have to worry about anything. And I have been so down. My room is trashed. I haven’t done dishes in a week. I’ve cried or teared up so many times that I’ve lost count. People at work have started asking questions. I’ve started isolating myself. And even on the days like today – when the depression isn’t that bad – my anxiety is so high that my chest is tight, I’m unbearably restless and uncomfortable, and my mind is blankly racing. Which usually leads into a very depressing tomorrow.

I say all that just to say that I don’t think it’s fair that we write off woman’s emotions if she’s on her period. Her emotions are still real and still valid. My moods honestly aren’t really affected by being on my period, but some women’s are. And the thought alone made me write off my own emotions, made me write off myself, and not take my depression seriously at times. That’s not helpful. In fact, it’s dangerous. It’s damaging. And that’s really frustrating to me.

No one did it to me. I did it to myself. I’m not blaming anyone.

But women? You are still you when you’re going through PMS or when you’re on your period. Yeah, it’s miserable — absolutely. But it’s not an excuse for you to be mean or rude or lash out. It never has been and it never will be. Just like their favorite sports team losing is never an excuse for men to be mean or rude or lash out. It’s never okay for anyone to be mean or rude or lash out for any reason.

And being on your period or dealing with PMS is not an excuse for you to ignore what you’re feeling, to count your emotions as weakness, or to not take yourself seriously. And if anyone writes you off because it’s that time of the month – if anyone writes you off for being a woman – maybe they’re someone you shouldn’t be around. So if it’s you writing yourself off, you should really look into fixing that.

-Melissa

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