and I make a vow, then and there, that I will never hide again.
I can feel tears forming in my eyes as I finished reading what he wrote and put down my phone.
I wish he was sitting in front of me so I could shake him and tell him:
But you are hiding. Don’t you see that?! That is what’s happening right now. You’re still scared and there’s still a seventeen year old boy cowering in a corner right now, hiding. And, because you can’t see that or can’t acknowledge it or refuse to acknowledge it or whatever, you’re going to ruin the good thing you have going for you right now.
You say you’re an open book and, in a lot of ways, you are. You say the things that pop into your head out loud as you think them. But those are surface thoughts. Those are… They’re like the summary on the inside cover of the book. Or a movie preview that gives away most of the story line. But the depths of your thoughts? The real deep fears and insecurities? You cover those with bravo and a loud voice.
You’re unwilling to listen and truly hear. You’re scared to let someone in. You’re afraid of what doing so has done to you in the past. And I get it – believe me, I get it – but you’ve got to soften just a bit and give in just a bit and compromise just a bit. Because this thing where you just speak over the other person and assume you know and refuse to acknowledge how you could be wrong in any way? It is never going to do you any good.
And by the way? You don’t get to give me any more speeches about building walls because you are just as bad.
Don’t screw this up because you’re scared. Lean into the fear for this. This is worth it. I know you know this is worth it.