Tag Archives: mother

Father’s.

It’s Father’s Day.

I forgot how much you don’t like Father’s Day until I was sitting in church this morning and something reminded me of you. Something reminded me of the Father’s Day years ago when I was sitting in a different church and you texted me that it was Father’s day, I typed, “Yes?” and you replied, “I hate this day.”

This morning, I felt your pain again. I’m sorry that you hate this day. You deserved a dad who acted like your dad. You deserved a dad who showed his love to you, who taught you how to be wise, who shared your humor, and who was there for you. And your mom deserved to have help; she deserved to not have to be both parents. Though I will say I always loved how you celebrated her both on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

Today – and this is kind of a long shot – but today, I bet you felt those same feelings but they were matched with feelings of fear. Today, I bet you felt inadequate. Today, I bet you hoped desperately that you will be the father to your son that you needed.

Don’t worry too much about it, okay? Because you will be. You’ll do whatever you can for him. You’ll love him and teach him and, goodness knows, you’ll get him rolling his eyes very early with all of your dad jokes. You are loving and caring and gentle. You will show him what it’s like to be human in this crazy world and you will absolutely fail sometimes. But that’s okay. Because you can teach him that failing is okay, humbleness is necessary, and you move forward and learn from your mistakes.

I am sorry if you’ve felt pain and fear today. I hope you’ve also experienced joy and love. You deserve joy and love.

Happy first Father’s Day to you my brother.

-Melissa

Signs.

I see the signs everywhere I go. Everywhere. About foster care.

Not even metaphorical signs. Like real life, hammered in to the ground, posted on a huge billboard, right beside every road I drive on, signs. Metaphorical signs have nothing on these.

It’s driving me crazy. I would LOVE to be a foster parent. I would LOVE to take children in. I would LOVE to foster, care for, and eventually adopt the little boy I met recently who broke my heart, who stole my heart, with his huge brown eyes and evident signs of abuse and neglect. I would LOVE to hold the little girl whose parents didn’t have enough to give her in my arms and never let go.

I would LOVE to claim them as my own. I would LOVE to do everything I could to improve their lives.

But I’m young. I’m unmarried. I’m not even finished with college! I’m about to go back for another year! Not fostering agency would even look at me! I’m not even fully caring for myself so how am I supposed to care for the other children that having no one caring for them?

My heart hurts.

What the crap is with all of the signs?

-Melissa