Tag Archives: think

Positive.

Occasionally, I do my part in scrolling through Pinterest. And, by ‘occasionally,’ I clearly mean a lot. Probably too much. My favorite category is quotes. I like words. I adore the fact that only 26 letters can make so many words that can be arranged in an infinite number of ways and you can make them say whatever you want.

It’s funny how, even with all the possibilities, we can often find ourselves at a loss. But that’s beside the point.

The point is, in a lot of the quotes lately there seems to be this theme of ‘if you’re positive, life will be positive.’ Yeah, I know. Apparently all you have to do is think happy thoughts and then you’ll be happy.

Wish someone would have told me sooner!

The problem is that this only works for a little while. I mean, maybe for you it works all the time. But for the rest of us… It seems like a bit of wishful thinking with a lot left to be desired. When my mind gets on a train of negative thought, it is almost impossible to derail. The pressure to think positively either pisses me off or weighs me with a guilt I can’t readily escape from. Even when I can get myself to be a bit more positive, it almost just upsets me more because I feel fake.

And what about those that deal with severe depression? Do you really think that telling them to have more happy thoughts will make them happy? There’s no way!

Sure, thinking more positively can have a positive effect on us but to say that it will change our life is just a lie. I’m all for embracing true joy and being grateful for all you have but I also have to take everything else I to account. We were given the ability to have emotion. Being happy all the time can often be a masking of all of the emotion that we have deemed unpleasant.

I know I’m ranting, and for that, I apologize. I just… If I had depression and I kept seeing posts about how if I wanted to be happy, I would just do it, I think I would just feel worse.

And I just don’t want anyone to feel worse.

-Melissa

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Opposites.

I know that I’m a sinner.

You don’t need to tell me, I’ve had that part figured out for a long time. There’s some part of my make up that delights in the wrong things. There is some part of me that doesn’t turn it’s back to evil but rather embraces it. I know that I am sick and desperately need a doctor. I know that I am broken and need to be fixed.

What do you make of me?

But what if I’m also a Pharisee? I seem righteous. I seem like I have everything together. I’m filled with pride and the word ‘hypocrite’ could easily been seen among a list of my character traits. I think I know so much more than I actually do. I think I know better than others when I usually don’t.

What do you make of me then?

And what if I’m both? What if I’m both humble and prideful? What if I’m both healthy and sick?

What do you make of me then?

And what if my view if you is completely romanticized? What if I see in you only the things that I want to see? What if I hear what I want to hear? What if I hear nothing at all? What if you aren’t who I’ve painted you to be? What if, despite all the warnings and better judgement, I’ve tried to put you in a box? What if I don’t know as much about you as I think?

What do you make of me then?

-Melissa